I can’t read the papers anymore. I just feel sorry for Obama. I want him so much to win. I would do anything to help him win. He’s a decent, wonderful man. And these Republican schnooks are so horrible. They’d be comical if they weren’t not funny. So. What’s to say, what’s to say? It’s very discouraging.
On a day in which many New York City residents and visitors rallied to help areas ravaged by Hurricane Sandy, news emerged that the National September 11 Memorial and Museum at the World Trade Center is flooded with at least five feet of water. The museum, which is still not completed, houses some of the more important artifacts from the 9/11 attacks, including the last column standing from the towers, the famous cross-shaped steel beam, and one of the tower’s stairways.
This has to be an Illuminati conspiracy.
According to New York 1, there is expected to be some wind, 50 mph gusts, and a lot of rain. They do say that the storm is expected to hit New York late Wednesday and last until Thursday and that it “won’t be nearly as strong or devastating as Sandy.”
There’s only one appropriate reaction to this:
It’s quite possible that New Jersey governor Chris Christie is the most self-aware politician in the United States right now. This tweet is a prime example of that.
If you’re the President of the United States and you’ve already used up all the help you can get from George Clooney, Jay-Z, Beyonce, Sarah Jessica Parker, Gwen Stefani, Anna Wintour, Lena Dunham, and Zach Galifianakis even who do you turn to in your campaign’s final push? The Obama team has had some pretty lame celebrity guests during these past few days. C’mon Barry, this is go time.
Dave Matthews
Yes, the “Everyday” man himself stood by Obama’s side at a Virginia rally this weekend. “I remember four years ago when I was out west — I was recording out west,” he told the crowd. “And mailed in my ballot. When Virginia came back for Obama, it’s one of the proudest moments I’ve ever had in my whole life.”
Dealing with a broken cell phone is pretty nightmarish. The thought of losing your precious contacts and funniest text messages is straight from the devil himself. Hopefully the workers fixing your prized mobile device will treat you better than a Verizon employee that helped a Florida waitress deal with some data loss. Josh Stuart told her that they were just switching the data from her old phone to her new one, but unbeknownst to her, he made copies of some x-rated nudie pics that she was storing on her cell phone.
Stuart then proceeded to share these pictures with at least one other employee, Gregory Lampert. Just picture those phone geeks sitting in the back room passing your sexts back and forth like trading cards. It’s enough to make us go landline-only.
Chris Rock shot a video for Jimmy Kimmel Live to let voters know that Barack Obama is “the white president you can trust.”
Canadians are supposed to all be super nice. That’s what people say when you don’t want to go on vacation to Montreal, “but Canadians! They’re so nice!” Local obsession and New York 1 Pat Kiernan is the perfect example of a nice Canadian guy. His Norse-like features make him simply lovable and he’s funny, but not too funny.
Chad Kroegar from the much hated rock group Nickelback is the direct opposite of Pat Kiernan. This week, he told Men’s Health Magazine that he convinced the band’s drum tech to stick his penis into a whirring metal fan. He is the worst Canadian possible, a mean Canadian.
Four years ago, the Daily News endorsed Obama, seeing a historic figure whose intelligence, political skills and empathy with common folk positioned him to build on the small practical experience he would bring to the world’s toughest job. We valued Obama’s pledge to govern with bold pragmatism and bipartisanship.
The hopes of those days went unfulfilled.
Yesterday we wondered if Donald Trump was sending crew members to gas deprived Yonkers to fill up vans for the production of his reality show The Apprentice. Our tipster finally got back to us last night and gave us a first hand account of the event:
Last night a crew of 18 vehicles all left from NYC to go to Yonkers for a gas station that we were told was opening up just for us around 1am. We left NYC around 10pm headed up the westside highway to Yonkers and arrived in the area around 1045. We got to the BP gas station at 191 McLean ave and there was a huge car line for it. Since we didn’t want to attract attention to caravan we spilt up and parked nearby waiting for the word to move to the station.
Louis C.K. hosted last night’s SNL and the most memorable sketch was definitely this Seth Myers written parody of C.K. spoofing his own show, Louie, in character as Abraham Lincoln.
There’s no doubt that this was inspired by the classic Joe Piscopo sketch where he played an annoying Abraham Lincoln in Ford’s Theatre (here’s a transcript of it to jog your memory, no video of it is online).
Also, see @FakeLouieEps for more Louie related parody.
![Here’s a mob of New York City Marathon runners packed into the Staten Island ferry terminal.
There’s no race today, instead, they’re all going to help out with relief efforts in the battered borough.
[Image via Paul Sailer]](http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mcyyyebeln1rk5d6vo1_1280.jpg)
Here’s a mob of New York City Marathon runners packed into the Staten Island ferry terminal.
There’s no race today, instead, they’re all going to help out with relief efforts in the battered borough.
The order reads: “If your vehicle’s license plate ends in a letter (A,B,C…), you are only permitted to fuel the vehicle on odd-numbered days.” Numbers are allowed on even-numbered days.
The problem: All license plates in New Jersey end in letters, except for vanity plates. So on Saturday, most everyone in the state could buy gas. On Sunday, no one can. Or so it seems.
One of the most frustrating parts of post-Sandy life has been the unendingly long lines for gas. Two arrests for violence at gas stations were made in Staten Island yesterday, and Yonkers Mayor Mike Spano announced yesterday that gas rations would come into effect today, limiting gas sales to ten gallons per driver.
Enter our anonymous tipster who tells us that a “a certain blonde haired blow-hard who has an obsession with our current president” is using Yonkers gas to fill up a number of passenger vans for his reality show.
