1. Nov 3, 2012 12:54pm

    Volunteer for Hurricane Relief Efforts Without Sounding Like a Dick About It Later: A Guide

    Everyone who has some free time this weekend should spend their hours volunteering. But after you do your great deeds, like donating food or clothes, you might be tempted to overshare about it. You will immediately want to run to the hilltops and scream, “Hey everybody, look how much good I did.” Don’t do this! You will lose all of the moral superiority that you just earned.

    Below are some suggestions that will help you to not act like a stupid jerk who brags about how much they volunteer.

    Include Others In Your Brags

    There’s a definite collective “we” in volunteering—there’s no I in team, or volunteerng, so embrace the other people who helped you. Instead of telling people about your own experiences, why not tell the story of the heroic guy who skipped his own birthday to help organize donations and refer to him as “this guy I met while volunteering this weekend.” Keep it casual.

    Tell Others How They Can Help

    Look at Tumblr Mensch Anthony De Rosa demonstrate perfect social media etiquette here:

    Keeping it as short as possible while providing a simple, informative link is great. De Rosa doesn’t even provide a description of what he’s doing. He’ll let YOU figure that out, or the best case scenario here is that you’ll take his lead and come and join him. Getting more people to volunteer with your brag gives you a ton of extra bonus points.

    Don’t Pull That Card

    After coming home from helping out, you will probably be tired and think that you qualify for at least three tropical vacations. Resist this as much as possible. Because if you pull the “Oh, sorry I didn’t do the dishes. I was too busy…helping out the newly homeless" card, the admiration coming towards you will turn into deep hatred immediately. It’s just a bad way to brag.

    Take It Off Social Media Entirely 

    Do you think Spiderman ever put out a press release after he got some lady’s purse back? Nope. Saving volunteer-brags for in-person conversations works best. Save it for your next dinner with your in-laws. Make sure your partner drops the bomb though: “Oh mom, did you hear Emma volunteered a couple weeks ago at that animal shelter? Isn’t she great?” Play it real cool, calm, and philanthropic-like. 

    Don’t Tell Anyone. Ever.

    Obviously the most appropriate way to act post-volunteerism is to not tell anyone at all. Keeping the experience as your own little selfless treasure is the best way to behave. If you have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all. That way, come Monday, when you tell your most hated coworker that you did “absolutely nothing” this weekend, and they say that they brunched or went shopping, you can look down at them like the worthless scum of the earth that they are.

    [Image via Getty]

    - Myles Tanzer

     
  1. jennyjennybobenny reblogged this from ghost-of-tinypapercuts and added:
    What did people do before they were able to brag about their good deeds on the internet?
  2. bellaella reblogged this from gawkercom
  3. blessthisjess reblogged this from gawkercom
  4. elaniemay reblogged this from gawkercom
  5. rcginger reblogged this from gawkercom
  6. nudawn reblogged this from brianvan and added:
    The whole “don’t tell anyone” thing I don’t agree with. My strategy is, tell everyone, blog about how easy it was, and...
  7. unfedora reblogged this from youngmanhattanite
  8. brianvan reblogged this from gawkercom
  9. oneorseveral reblogged this from youngmanhattanite and added:
    This is a completely straightforward statement: I can’t wait to read...something the NYT...
  10. youngmanhattanite reblogged this from mylestanzer and added:
    Sorry, didn’t see this earlier. I was out volunteering. Not blogging.
  11. sugarkat reblogged this from gawkercom
  12. snldoesdisney reblogged this from psychojello
  13. garbagefingers reblogged this from shabazmataz and added:
    This is exactly what I mean when I tell people I’m a Kierkegaardian existentialist. Yes, it sounds pretentious as fuck,...
  14. shabazmataz reblogged this from garbagefingers and added:
    My old boss, who was the most horrible person on earth, would always brag about donating to charities. There’s a reason...
  15. ghost-of-tinypapercuts reblogged this from gawkercom and added:
    repost this on facebook but realized I’d probably offend...handful of colleagues
  16. noahhurowitz reblogged this from gawkercom