Canadians are supposed to all be super nice. That’s what people say when you don’t want to go on vacation to Montreal, “but Canadians! They’re so nice!” Local obsession and New York 1 Pat Kiernan is the perfect example of a nice Canadian guy. His Norse-like features make him simply lovable and he’s funny, but not too funny.
Chad Kroegar from the much hated rock group Nickelback is the direct opposite of Pat Kiernan. This week, he told Men’s Health Magazine that he convinced the band’s drum tech to stick his penis into a whirring metal fan. He is the worst Canadian possible, a mean Canadian.
The interviewer asked Kroegar to tell him a crazy story from his past. After briefly trying to stall his way around the question, Kroegar told the gruesome tale:
“There was a heat wave going on in Germany. In a back room in the venue where we were playing, there was an old fan with a metal blade. I don’t remember the last time I saw a fan with a metal blade. And we paid the drum tech…. Oh god, I forget the exact amount. I think we got the pot up to about 600 deutschmarks….[To] Stick his johnson in the fan…He took the money.”
I can still hear the “bleh-bleh-blehhhhhhh” of the blade slowly sputtering to a stop, and this blood-curdling scream. It was fantastic. Somebody has video footage of this somewhere that needs to be resurrected and shown at the guy’s next birthday party.
Chad Kroegar, we would not invite you to any birthday party, even if that means your fiancee Avril Lavigne couldn’t come. And she’s a nice Canadian.
[NME, Image via AP]
- Myles Tanzer